minticitrus

2007-09-24T12:03:00.000+08:00

sick and tired.

2007-09-14T12:34:00.000+08:00

i'm packing.

i dont wad are you trying to protest here?

2007-09-12T23:27:00.001+08:00

telling me about some random guy, who you think is hot every once a while.

overcaring classmates, thanks for today and every other day.
i rushed out my 3 month project in 3 hrs today. i was gonna forgo it. but i fought that thought. thinking it better to hand up something better den nothing. i wrote a chunk of 733 words. half of which is repeating the same thing over just in a different way.i happily went to school, not late with my very proud three pieces of paper. an article, a summary of the article, half of my own view. more like a third. den i bumped into someone who reminded me of content page and nicely packaging my A4s and most importantly the grading sheet. which i din rmb any of. he panic first,more den i did. if my head was singing, it was probably monotone. i wasnt as anxious as he was. i was probably on drugs. he dragged me to get a file(he grabbed blue, i was like you like blue ar den he took the black one, i was plain kidding la). still very uptight, walking so fast, headed to the library to print a content page for me. he din even close his many email account(he din rmb which one) and walked out the library before i did, as we're getting a lil late for class.

thank god for him, really.

bedah,

2007-09-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

its time to listen to anberlin and saosin..
they get you girls..

-.-

bitch passed out

2007-09-09T15:35:00.001+08:00

watch and laugh..
what if its me..

big bathrooms.

2007-09-08T02:01:00.000+08:00

two nights ago. unpacking her winnings from hong kong.

quay kha: see, this one i buy for shiyi one(shows fluffy stitch).
quay kha: see, this one also(LED screen belt), 150HKD.
quay kha: and this one, LP zone shirt(crown print).
Ping(eldest sis):den me le?
quay kha: eh, see which one(pool of soft toy) you like lor. choose lor. or you take the pingu la, you say cute right.

okae, thats the best bdae present ever. seriously i feel so loved. i always thought i nv was a good sister. ya la, i did bug her for a stitch la.

i didnt stay up to wait for her, the whole house didnt. even ping ping was falling asleep already. who was suppose to go fetch her and pay for her cab fare. cos she's cool enough to only return back to homeland with 20 HKD. quay kha touched down near midnight. way past my bed time(these day). being the not very good role model sister, i didnt even took note of when she;s coming back. the house's so quiet. no one to disturb and argue with. while she's there shopping her ass off.

the next morning, i woke up to see a not so familar looking white belt. eyes half open, i sat up wondering how come my white belt the buckle grown so much bigger. but i'm running late like always. i took glimpse of it as i walked out the room. not bothered to check it out yet. half excited, thinking why sia? until, the sister came home from work to prepare for school. who always seems to find time in between to go online, check friendster, not so much of mails and den find herself running late for class, again. and when she finally had enough sleep after a whole week of fun.
i finally lay my hands on the once-i-thought-was-damn-cool accessory. den i asked, how come you buy me this.

quay kha: rmb you kept bugging me to buy for you last time lor.
the sister: got meh? -pause and think
the sister: oh ya, omg la. its like a year plus ago la -.-

still the thought is very much appreciated. den she took it from my hands and press on the on button. on the screen, flashed(s) in a very mud mut style....S H I Y I. slowly, the kiddyness put in it, ran across the screen with the words. me, a lil stunned. still, what a cute lian sister i have. hahahha. the stitch to add to my lil growing family. and the shirts a lil too not me, and i think she seriously do have a thing for crowns. idk why.

i asked, if she bought anything for second sis, she shakes her head half pouting. den smiles, dig out the mushrooms flooding action city(s) her friend bought for her. and heads to the room to hands over the present. like she bought it herself. -.-
and still she dont go by calling me jie know. from very young she learn from my papa, calling me by my name. sister, sister..

mom.

2007-09-07T10:47:00.000+08:00

its been quite a while since the last time i panicked for more den ten minutes. last night wasnt so bad.

frog legs was good. spicy like sam indian. and its friday again. when the office go slacky. not much on the list. i suddenly rmb, giving the just dead hamster cpr. even i think it was funny. the hamster was dying already. so much difficulty in breathing and moving. when it finally take a deep breathe and closed its eyes. i press on where i presume where the heart is at. breathe into its lil nose. that was my favourite girl girl. strong and protectve. and cheeky at times. it aint the only time i watched. i stopped watching. i shut them out.

aging population. why am i talking about hamsters now. i've been thinking alot of my mama lately. i need to catch beer. its friday, again.

Snow Patrol - Signal Fire - From the Spiderman 3 Soundtrack

2007-09-06T13:13:00.001+08:00

i think its really cute ar.

Stereophonics - Dakota (Live)

2007-09-06T13:04:00.001+08:00

she didnt like them,
but still she stood by me.

find out for yourself.

2007-09-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

i shall try and appreciate friends getting me drunk on monday night. same gang, same thing, same trick. maybe we need to find new hobbies -.-
and so this bdae made me, plans for my future? (near future maybe)

i was thinking to myself. we go through different stages at different times. and i think the deepest impact must be the finding-oneself stage, on the people around you and maybe yourself. like how i'm always the last to realise the change in me. or we get use to own change faster than anybody else, or it just dont mean much to you. just when how, i started roaming the streets. it was catching the last trains, buses, to missing them.
sort of rebellion? den we i started to do things to my body. be it intakes, additions, addictions, or infliction. be it how people sees it, how they take it, and throw it at you. some gets to you. some dont. down to the factor of seraching for one's identity.
what's wrong with being common?

different times.
its just matter of sooner or later.
anw, i got busted on by my papa. bcos, i was so wasted. i got home. some sent me home. i couldn tunderstand a thing he was saying. i just watched him go through my bag. how did the other martell get in there?(me thinking) i was just puking and puking, and puking. so he saw the, everything?
cool la. now my daughter smokes and drinks. somehow, i wish that he would find out all the others too. still, he gave me tea. nice. i woke up feeling so hung over but without the headache.
i'm not so affected by the whole thing(and its not a good thing). i dunno why, like somehow he already knew. the blew up(day after) wasnt as expected. or i was just too tired. i just wanted to crash my bed. and he decide to impose a, back by 11 thing. lets see how it goes. can i have something new. i'm so gonna break that. tonight, cos i have class. lets see, lets see.
but he din take away the cigs,
thats new(very).

we shld have photos of ytd. thanks vane. and i was suppose to take you two out for dinner. but i only kept mum, cos my pay was gone so fast. i din even noticed. next time ya.
yea, thanks for everything.
we are so growing old.

you know, when i was asked to make a wish. i panicked.
and i asked for nothing but..

turned out good.

2007-09-02T23:21:00.001+08:00

germs' cigarette-holding-act-cute club.

this cracked me up. i din have any idea it will looked like that. must be the alcohol. well anyway, if you havent, meet CPL. i think we look tiny here. ahhahah

neon coloured earphones.

2007-09-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

times when i came back late from clubbing and just crashed on beside my bed. on the floor, with just a blanket. my sis placed a air refresher right infront the fan. but i was only choking on the smell. cough and cough la.
she got up at 5. when i just was trying to get to sleep. and work's in a few hours. in preparation for the fam's bbq in the evening, she heads to the fishport to get fresher's share of seafood with my papa.

i lost a new pack of cigs ytd. it must be karma. when we're smoking the pack you picked up last week. at the same place.

what is turning 18?

Placebo. Special Needs.

2007-08-30T18:02:00.001+08:00

Just 19 and suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour.

carrot eggs.

2007-08-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

if i didnt have test today. i wldnt drag my ass all the way to tiong bahru. monday's the worst day packed with the worst lesson of the week. argg. and if i didnt drag my ass to school. i wldnt bump into my hot fuck accounting lecturer. man, he let down and spoke. like never before. he reminded me that i still do have control over my life. i'm still young. i shld really think about what i want to do, and really do what i want to. like he did secretly read what i wrote for my admission essay. he reminded me of my focus back den. why i wanted to take this course up in the first place. a year plus, i long forgot about other thing other den just waiting for paydays. and yes, whats better den spending the money you earned yourself. but still i think i'm born with the fork in mouth. wadever the material but still.

teachers might be the toughest bitches,
but still awesome creatures(maybe not to you, and of cos not all that i've met la).

sounds inspiring.

I got my ikea bin ready, already. In case if the stuff decide to run up through my throat, den the other way down.

2007-08-25T05:12:00.000+08:00

downing glasses and glasses of water. i hope i wldnt wake up with hot red thick lips tmr ~~morning~~ afternoon. now i dread the fact that the 18th big day is coming. i'll miss buying ciggies with the accompanying you're not 18 yet right from the near-school coffeeshop uncle. i'll miss trying to get my way in through home. and the fact i stole many many kisses tonight. you see the bad thing about alcohol. i like the way your face made up when the cab drove off with my jacket sleeved on your hands still, cyn. haha, classic.

and dance off the alcohol. if its getting to your head. do what you;r heart tells you. dont sit on your good friend's girl the next time.
no, i do believe there's something more productive den getting people ass drunk on their 18th. like lets sit down and have a real good two-way talk about wadever wadever.. the old time or your darkest fantasy.

boys who just wanna fuck.
boys you just wanna fuck.
the last time i checked: gaydar positively hit maximum and almost burst, when that girl glanced at me. and stood right beside me.
wth, i like sporty types. yeah baby.

former love.

2007-08-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

a unspeakable feeling ran cross my chest. when i saw her.
i probably walked home fastest speed ever. not looking back. i cldnt lift my head higher.
oh how you look the same.

oh
and i used to think that these things happen for a reason.

now let me sleep this off, after watching Chris Nuñez.
my fingers havent stinked in days. i'm starting to hate the smell.
smoke buddy, buddies.

bunnies. here.

2007-08-19T04:08:00.000+08:00

your one time thing.

2007-08-19T03:50:00.000+08:00

i must be into bunnnies.

hahahhaha, kinda early to sum the weekend. but its was hella crazy. and lots of exercising?
good.
hmm. anw. i hope your having fun too. cos exams gonna come faster den i will realise. projects projects. shit. haven start yet. and my pants are like slipping off these days.. am i losing weight or they're just geting loose. hahhahha. wth bedah. goodnight.

we eat koalas.

2007-08-18T10:52:00.000+08:00

puke counter for last night: 3.5

1.5 for CPl. fucking wasted man, bung. yesterday was just crazy okae. so random. i'm off to think of what new ink to do next. maybe for my bdae. yea baby, pain pain. sweet.

and to end off,
i think.
~~girls who cant take care of themselves are big turn off~~ sounds a lil mean.
put it nicer, girls who can take care of themselves are big turn on(s).
?? wtf..
shld i call that cheap? i'll come up with a better term for girls like that.

you;re fucking random.

2007-08-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

i know.

i was filling cyn in on Buddhism. and that i know, the buddha i have at home.
it all started bcos, i dont eat beef. i added, i dont eat pork too. which of cos isnt true. -.-

and wad's with buddha and cow?
me: beeeeecause, buddha's papa recarnated into a cow in his next life.?(true?)
and he used to be a boy before he became buddha(true??)

thats what i rmbed from all the questioning i done on my papa when i was young. did my memory failed me or wrong information was fed?

checked on wikipedia:
buddha was a boy -
" It is generally accepted that Guanyin originated as the Sanskrit Avalokiteśvara (अवलोकितेश्वर), which is her male form."
"Avalokiteśvara was originally depicted as Buddha when he was still a prince..."
-tick
the not eating beef part -
not sure. maybe bcos theyre not violence pro?
i cldnt find a acceptable answer for me and my lids are getting heavier.
i shall ask my papa again.

you wanna read more?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guan_Yin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism
no, there's no www.guanyinma.com ..

i feel motivated. for a spiritual retreat.
dont laugh -.-

heading where?

2007-08-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

it doesnt feel the same anymore, with you next to me.
(and she logs into msn)

minutes into a new week.
last week was, slowed by wednesday. but i had class that night. and i was pmsing damn badly for almost the whole week. which probably explain how hard you tried holding the conversation, and still you gave up. hem. ive got paper and papers coming up. and awful self project which doesnt entitle me to slack. but the boys are even after my self project too. how sweet, they already offered me their extra materials. and sleeping off national day seems like a tradition already.

oh, i fell on my ass last night. but the cigarettes case in my right ass pocket saved me from lesser pain. the impact left the case not openable. thats how bad.. and maybe bye bye to the cigies in there yea.

oh my complexity.

fame?

2007-08-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

all i got to say is, maybe if you could let go of things easy, it makes life easier.
have you got balls to confront him in the face?, and why keep holding on to that piece of shit thats making you miserable. thats how you got things wrong, and how i nv bothered to explain. and like you will listen. you saw people who came and went, you should know better! fucking ditch.

anyway, i gave all my coins which i thought could make up my dinner, to a old man who's trying to get home. his story was damn unbelivable, but i dunno why i still dug up all my coins so maybe he can get(wad he want) home. at first i was gonna just walk off as i saw him coming into my path. he looking awfully skinny. but smth in me froze my feet. and the moment he opened his mouth, i got the shock of my life. but he was fast enough to tell me not to be frightened. i still find his english a lil too good, as with the two huge bags of belongings, and really rugged some logistics(how ironic) company's shirt, and his teeth says as though he smoked a too heavy lifetime. he glimpsed at passerbys like he got some plans. i was all prepared to sprint off if he was gonna raise his hand or smth, plus the fact that i nv passed my 2.4, i have no idea how i'm gonna run. den i rmbed, i'm late for class. so towards the end of his story, i dug all the coins i could reach for and added to the small pile of coins in his palm. to think he even hinted dinner. ha ha ha. den through my journey to school, i cldnt stop thinking of wad i did. but i seemed to notice alot of girls today. like seriously, wth bedah. and to think i just found out that the girl i keep looking at in school is a mother of one. my jaw fell can. and i kept walking up down the GO cos there's this chick on her lappy at the admin counter. pretty.. i stopped when she noticed me -.-

attention. attention.

2007-08-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

i got tagged. (5.31pm)

Each player of this game starts off with five things they like about their bodies. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own the five things they love about their bodies as well. Start every line with "I love...because...". I assure you, you might just surprise yourself by how difficult it is to come up with this list. Please state the rules of this game clearly. At the end you must choose as many people as you'd like to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

1) i love my toes, because they use to be damn cute.
2) i love my palm, because its smaller den most people i know.
3) i love my brows, bcause they dont need to be trimed.(or there wont be any left, thou its not equal in length.)
4) i love my nose, because, sorry la, other den the blackheads i still think its cute sometimes(well, i did thought of getting a plastic one before).
5) i like my knees, they shine under the light sometimes. ??

my fingers dei. i really like them with short trimed nails.(5.39pm)
okae. it got tougher towards the end. and i'm not evil, i wont tag. do if you wanna!

Sum 41 - Pieces

2007-08-06T21:18:00.001+08:00

to care a little less. powerless.

2007-08-06T20:51:00.000+08:00

its feels quite good to be unreachable sometimes.
i'm feeling a little guilty from sleeping too much and missing school.
my nose, my nose.
i hope i dont anything stupid. like slicing myself.
if i cant sleep.

okae, cant we do smth more productive other den hitting the beach to party the eve of national day away?

with you(s) on my wallpaper.

2007-08-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

with national coming(fireworks).
with you in china. gawd, i'm missing you already, we just got off the phone.
with hi-chews in my mouth.

since young, from the ten years of education. the school(government) had emphasis the importace of racial harmony. thks the big guy up there. i interacted with fair share of malays(esp chicks from my graduating class) and the two very not so indian(as they shld be) best friend of mine. sammy G. and lailitha(i hope you see this n dont go mad preparing the vid for tmr, and thinking of the boyfriend). see, i remember being made to sing the ten little indian(probably to raise the awarness of indians' existence, not as the ah neh nehs next door) boys song in kindergarten. and to think i really haven seen more den ten indians in a single co-ed school class before. unless you;re an indian being in a tamil class. i know sam nv did enjoy tamil lesson, and much being anjedi. she probably did better in maths den in tamil. i had a indian boys phase through primary school(since purberty started) and lower secondary, before i was very disturbed by my own sexuality(coming out to myself).
the reason why i'm probably blogging like this, is a 128 dinner for two at buckaroos, 3 half pint hoegaarden, a phone conversation with vane in china, and my visa's virginity vey much taken by that expensive dinner. well, i'll have to say, its all worth it. fiona fiona, sick and still very much about the people around you. sue the can-nary for your faulty pay check la. ahahahha.

i hope you do know the fact that the garment made a point to mix a share of indians, malays and chinese familys on a level of the hdb flats. when they were issueing flat ownerships to encourage the kampong kids to get out their slums. [ my fair share of kampong days in my maternal grandma's attap house. they were probably the last few to move out from their kampongs. i still rmb, its at where the now bosch comapny stands. far off bishan, sin ming road, marymount. with barberques every other month, my grandpa's fighting fish' breeding ground, where they use the fishes at gambles. and me being chased by the kampong's black dog(i still remembers) while running back to mumnny after peeing at random drain. the bloody dog biting my shoe. ] i nv knew, cos i grew up in a level 8 in the ghetto yishun with all chinese in a hdb flat level. until i was probably 10. i had to scare the annoying indian boy next door, with i'll-call-the-police stunt, bcos he was ranning to peek into my house every five minutes in the day and played with my i-thought-was-the coolest-pair of power rangers slippers. he was so scared he ran back with his black dot(otherwise he's always obscenely naked at his home door) and shut all windows and door and pretended no one was home. and the family moved out within a year. i wonder. i guess i was very much a terror. now there's a pakistani family residing, with their yearly traditional snacks, which i so thought taste weird and weird woman's screaming every night. with random bangs on the walls, those they make you feel painful for and make you go ouch for them at every bang on the wall.

alright happy 42nd singapore,
you're growing old!! but still is younger den my papa, hahahah. but i see you're not very big in size, so pls give felicia back to us.
one people, one nation, one singapore...
i rmb, singing and waving the national flag at the padang parade when i was eleven.
so much for the taxen style dinner.

Benefits from eating your vegs. (New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle)

2007-08-01T13:44:00.001+08:00

Lets do something old school. a little graphical.

Fix me. Lean against the cold wall.

2007-07-28T16:13:00.000+08:00

i think i'm messed up enough to not want someone riding this with me.
kid when i look at you, dont you ever thought of how you're not benefiting from getting drunk often, these numbing activities and how you carry yourself? like i did, well i'm doing good cleaning up my ass. but it hit in the head from time to time. i forgot the fact, that i'm weird, unlike. for awhile. i'm starting to like the bitterness in malboros. avril(s) on your player's making me raw.

minah ~~chic~~ chik.
concave scream' home.

Planes watching.

2007-07-27T09:44:00.000+08:00

amid this crisis, i thought of him.
he's always there, sometimes you need to find him.
maybe under the lay of dust.

i'm thinking of abandoning this, after the 666th post. that means a 60 to go. haha, that means a 60 to go. a 60 to go. kid kid. let's try feeling whole again. does it sounds a little self-destructive?

When was the last time you defragmented your disk(computer)?

2007-07-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

i'm still grieving from burton's melancholy death of oyster boy. i could finish that book in a train ride home back from school. but i stopped and close the book after that particular story. now i know how he died. humans and their ugly sides. sad eh. i love how it makes sense, even in that gothic comical way.

if you fancy his dark humor too. but sadly i think you have to read the book to know the characters featured. the vids are at the bottom of the page.
http://www.timburtoncollective.com/oysterboy.html

homage.

2007-07-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

you could call and be silent on the other end. if you need to hear some breathing to feel alive. i know how it feels like. i dont make promises like i dont mean it. so i'll rather not say a word. i'll be here meanwhile, i dont know about later.

bathroom doors, i dont work well with.

2007-07-25T11:17:00.000+08:00

careless eh?

ytd, i closed the door on my leg laa. and i lied down on the floor the moment after, steaming, squirming, waiting for the pain to fade. now there's a ring of blueish out on the a patch of sore red on the back of my leg(ankle). and i cant walk properly. i cant bear to touch it. i'm thinking of my trip to school later, how. i'm thinking of how am i gonna wear my shoes. i'm thinking of a half day off eh, :D. fucck la. like the bit of the past, that keeps you up at night. and i never knew bringing it up was gonna be so choking and kinda painful. bcos it replays more and more often now.

why today so slow paced ar? i waiting. i wanna go school early, i dunno why i so excited about school these days. like a primary school kid, waiting for school to start, from the holidays. to meet every friend in school. erm, okae.
let's see, i saw amir(vane's) last night. i think he looks better in person den in pictures, yeaa.

emails.

2007-07-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

a morning full of complaints letters.
i'm just watching. since the new modules, change of class coordinator. changes in time table. some sort of self-declaration, my modules starts late ends early. i'm neutral towards them requesting to change lecturer(mono-tone, no two way traffic, teaching from the book, and die die dell supporter, wtf..) something to say about tight exams shedule. presentations. breaks. the filled ashtrays. and the freaking weather.

Fall Out Boy - Thnks fr th Mmrs

2007-07-21T11:46:00.001+08:00

mon-key

gaia come back.

2007-07-21T04:55:00.000+08:00

to BEAT, double chopping.
with love.

i watched the drizzle
i watched the mist
its all dreamy.

i wandered about the after parties district, drizzle cool down my hair.
all with myself, loadless keep. maybe a lone activity, new i found. i had in mind to find cash sprouting machine. i gave in and hop on that very cab. the cabbie was driving slow already, inside i hope he'd a lil slower. thk god i bought my hoodie. i feel comfortably covered under.
do you take nets.?(s)

he ask if its my sis in the case..how wld i feel. i thought i cldnt take losing another. i feel for you.

Pls help!

2007-07-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

http://findfelicia.blogspot.com/

"ex-monkhillian
Felicia teo if ur noe her. u noe tat girl who have purple hair n no teacher could make her dye it black.?"(fourandahalf)

chick in hot car's passenger seat.

2007-07-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

go green ar. dont drive(i think they all drove to work).

you know one of the day, you feel so lifted. blasting the stereo, your favourite song came on. you're changing in the bathroom after that good cold shower(warm maybe) and you sing and dance a little in the mirror along that song and feeling much sex-y/slutty. okae maybe not that much slutty. and you like the way your still wet hair look over your shoulder with that new top you bought.
and imma late for class. since its start of a new module. which mean new lecturers. i decided that its not that much impressive to be late, so i rather not turn up at all. i headed to town still, the train seems to be taking forever. but i was still comtemplating whether to turn up or not. den i look at time. ha, half an hour into lesson already and i'm still on the train, not even a stop away from my ghetto yet. ha, final. town's the answer. lets not forget about the-how-many times i tried to actually get some cash out the atm, or nets it. i was damn desperate. but cheques takes two days to cross ey. then i went to heeren, hmv, spent good whole two hours in there. the next time i go there. i know exactly where, what i wanna get. i'm eyeing a few shirts, tim burton's book(which i eye-d since last christmas) and a few albums? lemme get my bro his bdae gift first. if you;re not feeling old yet, i'm feeling it for you already.

all i could think about is her ass, i keep having to smack myself in head.

wad a jerk.

2007-07-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

everytime i'm at the water dispenser.
dispensing some cold water, i'll stare at the red tap.
and it reminds me, how i managed to convinced my younger sister to drink from the hot water dispenser which i believe was really not dispensing hot water. lucky was just a few drip(CB right).
stuff like that can haunt me forever. so i'll bring her to pizza hut more(reason, probably unknown).

yes, no.

2007-07-17T11:34:00.000+08:00

growing up with much hate, anger. Will sing of abuses in future.
you wanna party like a rock star?

i bumped my back into the pellet that was stick out from the pile. smart eh -_-'
i've been thinking(straight girls), fame is probably the last thing i need. but i need my pay, i need to get my hair trimmed. hurry come. my papa's not back from china yet. i thought i'm gonna die of hunger. like, less nagging, less noise in the house. power la. i can sleep like nobody's business. nobody will be screaming at me. ha.
the contradicting part is, i havent been staying out late.

its now that matters, let's not care about tmr.
she makes me just wanna stop here.
i'm fretting over the attention i'm given..
closing time, Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
I know who I want to take me home. Take me home.

some people are just nice to everyone.

same-sex, sex.

2007-07-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

F: It'll be cool to fuck a homo chick, weird thou. dont you think.(me silent)
F: But same sex fuck..
Me: thats just hot!
F: No wonder you're homo, bedah.

BAHAH.

Semisonic - Closing Time

2007-07-16T15:50:00.001+08:00

Closing time,
you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here

i'm weak can.

2007-07-15T22:56:00.001+08:00

doesnt it seems too familar?

Bring on the saex.

2007-07-14T23:53:00.000+08:00

Dont say i didnt try, cause i'm losing my mind.

the old butch(gel-ed short hair, uncle dressing, beer belly with a stupid slang) in the train reminds me of those in if walls could talk.
weird friend who calls and talk weird stuff.

after a three hours struggle, i gave in.
it left me pinching my chin the whole morning.
no cry, no laugh.
i got issues with weight. i gained a 3, den lost a 5.
i realise i dont eat properly if i dont work. but i binge eat when i work.
badd.

i feel the love, i feel the distance too.

near.

2007-07-12T12:03:00.000+08:00

finally, we're somewhat near payday.
arg. fiona, hurry back and feed me!

2007-07-11T08:48:00.000+08:00

fridae's attacked by virus..
people hate gay people. hah.
thank god i wasnt online. or i'll be loyal enough to download whatever they prompt.

If your leaving will you take me with you,
I'm tired of talking on my phone,
There is one thing I can never give you,
My heart will never be your home.
let me sing, i'm bored.

fuck the title.

2007-07-10T13:23:00.000+08:00

Just last week, my uncle(one the many) pass me a photo in an envelope.
Among many important receipts, yet he asked me to pay extra attention to the envelope.
and that i die die must pass it to my sis. i wonder la.
as i step away, i just help myself to the content. its a guy in square hat. not so properly photoshopped. he looks rather big in size, but quite well hidden behind the dark coloured robe.
i never thought much of it.
till a while ago, i said loudly as i swinged opened the office door.
EH, uncle introdued you boy ar?(in chinese)
she proceed to laugh and show my papa the guy's photo.

before that, i was getting my uncle to sign some documents. when he decide to nag at me for making him sign them. den in that same nagging tone, he shift to asking me to tell my sis about the guy in the photo. he's some enigineer. he added on, sitting here everyday no future one. hint, find a rich guy and settle done. if she does, which will mean, one done, for my papa.

i dunno why, but ya.
i was watching, till the glass broke.
i'm still pissed.(insert middle finger)

2007-07-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

let's cause a scene

with beats like falloutboys,
and sounding a little articmonkeys.

Index.

2007-07-09T14:16:00.000+08:00

i finally(hopefully) got the piece of glass that had been causing hurt to my index finger the last two days. which i thought the pain was just some swell, or the cut itself. and i was just squeezing and pinching with my nails, den a breaking moment with a lil sharp pain. something shinny surfaced. just a small prick, and i'm making noise. i cant imagine how your cuts felt.

stupid drunk guys.(insert middle fingers)

BIG GIRLS DONT CRY

2007-07-08T23:09:00.001+08:00

obviously i was looking for the hot mama fergie's big girls dont cry. so yea, i think i'm gonna have nightmares later.. and i hear the rain coming, let me go sleep soon. night(mare)

Anna August

2007-07-07T10:08:00.000+08:00

Sunday's best.
Let's go people watching.
what a weather, i have to drag myslef out of bed.

i cldnt take it, if they're gonna kiss.

2007-07-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

the part just before he had to run for the tallest building.
oomg, how sexable is megan fox. anw, i got bored when they(bots) started fighting. so messy.
and of cos, john robinson(stacie, long hair?) from lords of dogtown.

today, i had the killer killer paper ar, sure bye bye ar.
reuse, reduce, recycle. reverse logistics.
match the weekend's theme yea, fuck.

blacking out, making out. Rides.

2007-07-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

Our lady peace's cool for the night,

Is Anybody home(have kate moennig featured in your video, it works).

wooh, catch ups. ketchups. today was the first time i've been to town since the start of the week. i learnt the amount i dont spend not visiting town. i was just staying home and thinking too much last few days. yea, i'm spotting more white hairs. and like watched the amount of local tv shows i havent in such long while. but still staying home and get upset by my mapling sisters aint fun. i did random things, those i havent been for quite some time. i had dinner with my papa 3 nights in a row. we went to cash in money on payday together, which i thought was quite cute. i rmb-ed how i was ten, and i sat and asked him questions after questions nights and nights while he has his daily dose of beer which helps him to sleep. he doesnt create a scene after the beer, he just knock out after them. questions like, do you have the money if i actually go to the uni one day(hello, i was ten), are you gonna wear a tie on ping's wedding(as i nv seen him in one), like can i get a tattoo when i grow older(i did ask okae), are we gonna move house next time, are we gonna get a new mama(i always doubt his love for my mum).. till, time shown, the gem of the family(back then) became a responsible not, fuller time school escapist mapple pro player. savings depletion, kids grow wings gets harder. i use to stick with him alot. but dude, what have growing in the number every year done. ha.

recently, there's this new claim that my taoist maternal grandma had actually done some transfering of my christian mum's religion back to being taoist(she used to be one). how uncanny. and i was quite not able to accept it. but after awhile, i thought if it keeps the folks happy, then let just let them do what they do. And my papa went on to arrange prayer and rituals for mama with the yishun's rest-the-lostsouls people.. and i being confuse me was just being there with mental supportance. Den things for offerings were supposed to be collected by families, they told us we could add stuffs in, like gold bars(paper of cos), clothings, even cigarettes too. he argued right back, in a nice way, no she's a good tai tai, she doesnt drink and smoke. i was taken in by the moment, whoa, after so many years. no hookups with any woman that worked. the increasing amount of beer through these years. weird ways of taking his girls in hand. you get me?

Curling.

2007-07-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

If dared do it, why should i be afraid of people knowing.

and i shall suffer the consequences of my own actions.
i havent studied for tmr's paper. action which will result in re-exam or re-module. no wonder, i'm bothered.

care to go deeper?

2007-07-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

Nevermind the surface.
i'm hoping some logic come my way.
join in the fun on saturday, put on green!
i want lime gree.
happy 18 yea, july babies.

school ya.

2007-07-04T11:15:00.000+08:00

borat meets wolverine??

i feel as if i havent slept at all.
exams on the next two fridays.
somebody need to remind me what happened exactly one year ago, thats worth celebrating.
which i so dont rmb.

figures.

2007-07-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

i figured. i'm took in too much of what you said.
its piling in my head.

masochism

2007-07-03T15:04:00.000+08:00

i just ram-ed the door over my toe.
okae, not really. the best part. it stopped with my toe right underneath the little arch in the mid of the freaking door. now that i can bear to touch it alittle, there's a flap of skin hanging.

replies.

2007-07-03T00:13:00.000+08:00

no more replies mean you slept, finally yea(:

hawt.

2007-07-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

heatiness and exams never went well together.

daddy's fit.

2007-07-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

I got it!
I got it!

i was planning to cut down shopping on credit..

and i just have to break that one day before

pay day. its bad.

thanks fiona yea, for the credit loan.

ha. i let you see me in sports bra already la,

no need pay you ar. ha. i gained 2 tees just

before my pay. -shakes head.

The naaaaaaaaame game.

2007-07-01T13:33:00.000+08:00

bedah bedah bo bedah
banana fana fo fedah
fee fi
mo medah
BEDAH !!!

if you were here, you wldnt let me look so bad.

2007-06-30T09:14:00.001+08:00

" Commitment phobes will recognise the signs – a tendency to chase girls that are hot but not good relationship material. What kind of lasting partnership can you have with someone where conversation is restricted to “hello”, “sorry”, and “let me help you off with that”? "

no, i slept early early ytd. i wasnt emo la. the weather very nice can?

Its starting to fray from the sides.

2007-06-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

Now i get how, you used to handle it.

one paper down, one paper missed. two more to go.
let's catch beer tmr!!
catch beer! catch beer!(chants)

okae, my random thursday begins from 11.30am. i decide to use an hour less on the marketing paper. i cldnt take sitting there, pulling my hair, stretching, staring at the paper and more staring. finished my last sentence, and chao. and i really hate the school's toilet. the freaking cubicle is so small, the door just slide pass the bowl near touching when you try closing it(i know its repeated so many times here). and i slammed on my little finger while closing. with some anger. to think i;m stuck with this arrangement for another 15months.

12 noon
so, its down to joo chiat for wanton mee.
rochor for dou huay.
fareast for afterlife.
some chit chat, say hi sessions.
den dinner at veri good(not bad dei, must try, fareast!).
stairs slack.
more talking.
den home(as in home home)!

random not. okae batt dying.
catchbeer, catchbeer..

KT Tunstall - I Want You Back

2007-06-28T00:08:00.001+08:00

KT Tunstall - I Want You Back

nevermind the language, let the music get to you. and i love wad she has on her feet, and her.

Your rosy cheeks, as ever.

2007-06-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

i actually thought of dropping by fashion, to say hi. but i rather not take the risk and play the guessing game. and something was telling me, maybe i should just get back to yishun. and i felt the tireness along the ride home. i remembered nodding away.
and i got down khatib, i notice that lengthy, chubby, and that pair of rosy cheeks. something i'm probably not ready for, yet. i might got the wrong person. so i just semi ran into 7-11 to get my milk. and i thought maybe i shall catch up and see if its the right person. and purposely walk a big round and stop where i can get a full view of her. this time, i'm sure. so i waved.
i was worrying, she is gonna not be okae with how i changed, how i talk, how i carry myself now. to counter the whole situation i lit a cig. take two puffs, a fucking deep breath and said hi. before i could ask the typical, do you rmb me?
she scream my chinese name already(i did a mini version of my, look left, look right). i was over me already. her voice, still as cute? never changed. as from 6 yrs ago. i can say we only stay a street apart. and i always thought she moved or something. we nv ever bumped into one another.
i cannot contain this, let me take 2. to scream some more, omg omg, omg..
it all happened in just 5 minutes. so i asked about school and stuff and stuffs. but there's one thing i sure have to ask, i cldnt shut up. ~~din you try contacting me all this while?~~
got boyfriend ar? she smile smile, no la..dont have.. i have to ask this bcos. she was all boy crazy back then. she's the one going out with all the considered better looking boys(back then), maybe thats when i started not looking at boys(hahah).
and ya, i was battling inside
whether i shld get her number not. i got it, in the end. omg, i'm all reminded of that major crush i used to have on her. and i thought she probably end up some CAL and and. but no, its probably the other way round. i ended up as the reject. She's in TP, hospitality and tourism? and her bdae's a month after mine. Still, as ever branded from head to toe, the latest fashionable phone. thank god, her hair's curled nicely. she like lost a lil baby fats. omg, i cant stop thinking of that short 5 minutes. 6 years! 6 years know.
and she doesnt club. O.O i'm damn surprised..
okae, i got a sudden rush. i have to show her to all my friends. i dunno why, but i got that feel.
i walked her to her block (:
just a street across? -__-''

people change, dont they?
fate?

Leave the editing to the media kid.

2007-06-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

transform-ers.

The first tyra i met.

2007-06-26T13:18:00.000+08:00

Halfhearted, i took a half day off to study.
i officially missed my statistics re-exam, which was ytd.
i only found out last night.
okae, instead of feeling bad about it(wasting more time).
clearly i shld be worried for the next upcoming paper.
with weird english crap movie showing on channel 5, what a afternoon.
i've packed essentials for study in my bag. all bathed and nice smelling wet hair.
i could get on my way to mug for marketing. but there's one thing. i need wee wee's to counter the will be faced stress(es). arg. somebody get me cigs pls.

she has a status she prefer not to talk about,
she likes the mindfucking part of the chase.

your friend ar?

2007-06-26T08:49:00.000+08:00

for a whole good 20 minutes, i was wondering.
who is this guy who tried adding me on friendster. do i know him?
he looks farmilar. so it turn out i met him at a few parties.
and omg, i bumped into him when i was tipsy. that i rmbed!
how nice.

"If you see us in the club we'll be acting real nice. If you see us on the floor you'll be watching all night."

2007-06-25T08:46:00.000+08:00

shit, i think i like her already.
arrg, straight girls..

sure was interesting.

2007-06-24T21:18:00.000+08:00

so much dramas. i got got back yishun near 8.. now i'm gonna sleep. cos i havent slept at all..
and i guess i hold on to the past too much. now i shall worry about school. see ya after july, i mean the nights..

2007-06-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

okae, quality lesbian kisses and fucking spicy chips..
my nose's bleeding for sure..

Spider Lilies Fever.

2007-06-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

my sister's having spider lilies fever as well.
hahahahahahha
thats her mapple stiry caracter.
green wig.

ytd shall be the closing ceremony, before i study(try to). for my damn upcoming 4 papers.

and after, the bachelor, eye for a guy. finally, we have eye for the dyke. finally, woohoo,

http://www.venusenvycasting.com/

i got fucking wasted.

2007-06-22T13:06:00.000+08:00

i shall not tell you anything about the night part. its gonna be the talk for the week.
i was just puking everything i cld, out.
sorry's and thanks.
but i'll tell you about the morning part..
so you can laugh some. okae.
so i found my phone at the doorstep. after i bathe and rmbed the alarm din ring.
how come got sound coming from outside ar? i dont rmb it being there la.
nvm, den i tried boarding the bus with my ic. bcos its was right beside my ezlink. grabbed the wrong one. i took awhile to realise la. how embarassing.
they're not coming between us, dude.
i just wanna be anal for abit these days.
a little too anal, i know.

i'm just afraid of facing the fact, that this thing between us is growing.
i got issues.

Audioslave - Be Yourself: Album Version, Closed Captioned

2007-06-21T13:27:00.001+08:00

Someone falls to pieces
Sleeping all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
She finally drifts away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
And catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

smells of boiled water.

2007-06-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

" if i'm not getting at least 15 tags i'm shutting my blog."

wth. sounds like some bad im-the-queen lesbian blogger.
and i spent the night, haging out in the ghetto.
with Colin, Fiz, sam and vane.
its coool talking to colin like till 10 to 12. ha.
how random. and the exchange went well.
and all i know, the amount of random girl viewing and adding him on friendster.
the talk of rp chicks. and now i know, the world's even smaller.
like long long time man. okae, i wont show you lesbian porns next time. ha.
SaPORNnas kills the throat. i learnt

boy, the edge's not sharp enough.
i'm dressing all black to PURE tmr, you angels.

maybe you could stop being anonymous.

2007-06-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

see, that will never happen.
lets work on something else.
maybe something greater.

2007-06-19T00:34:00.000+08:00

Just give her a new style, she'll be all ready to shake off that old one.

I refuse to take the last HL, so i ended up with half a litre of milk.
wondering why HLs are ridiculously running fast on a monday night.
i could tell you all the lesbian dramas i seen,
those juicy olds i heard. those pair(s) legs i cldnt stop staring.
those full story with details i heaaard. those boys, those formers.
ha. but i'm all too lazy as i'm settling in a comfy position. and typing
seems a chore. that coolie that save my night. ogod. thannks.
all i need is dryer hair now and i'm all in for the work tmr(:
Real Life Lians.
those giantic hamsters are really in my house le.

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

2007-06-18T13:58:00.001+08:00

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done Live @ T In The Park

double dosage

Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue

2007-06-18T12:11:00.001+08:00

wad a fucking ending.

We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise

2007-06-17T18:35:00.000+08:00

Huge thing?

okae, so their running wheels?
these not so smart things are from my sis's fren.
which will be babysitted till their last day.
in this crazy place.

2007-06-14T15:16:00.000+08:00

a perverted sense of loyalty.

so i decide that i'm 5/7 depressed per week.
so the other 2 days of the week are busy de-stressing the for the whole week,
which are usually the end of the week.
afterwhich i spend time feeling bad for how hard i destress.
okae, now the words ont the monitor looks blurry.
i got reminded that dateline for school fees is a week away.
and that i cant possibly fork out 1.3k in that amount of time. and borrowing a month's pay wont be enough as well. now, i really need to sell my backside.
cos i dont want to tell on my sis.

i know i'm hardly there. and that smoking kills.
but i love you the same(:

2007-06-13T00:56:00.000+08:00

i thought maybe i'll save blogging for tmr.
i laid down on my back, but i sat right up after closing my eyes for two minutes..
lifted the sleeping lappy.
how easy is it to juggle 5and half days sit down office job(hah, like more den picking up calls) and 3 school days per week. with my project just freshly handed in. exam and re-exam upcoming. and my must-chill-smoke-and-release mates hangouts.
hahahh. its time i have to impose some self-discipline. my dad tried to impose curfews (some in some weird coloured moon) which i nv fail to break. just so happened tonight. he wanted me home by 11. we all know its hardly do-able by ohshiyi. and it was cool enough for me to get home by 0017. so i banged the door so hard that the man behind the door have no choice but to open up. and i waited for him to do his usual talkings. but till now. he haven spoke a word. i keep in within 2m his area. waited and waited. but nothing came. i know if i open my mouth first. the whole unit wont need to sleep tonight. i was all ready armed with, i not bad wad, aiya only one hour late wad. but no, i decide to shut it.
and den i decide to retreat into my room and wait for him to come explode at my room's door. i'll just do my usual stare and nothing-to-say face. but den later i heard noise made by his nose like those i make when i try to cry very silently. hmm.
my bad performance at work, thats all he cares about.
i so dont think he wld mind if i gave up my sudies on concentrate on work.
hah. maybe he really think i paid to pass at school. there;s not much to worry.

2007-06-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

Long nails!! omg.
so, i din wanna go on anymore, cos my thigh was cramping already.
cb, she like got some superstrength.
and now, thinking back she and her smile still scares the shit out of me.

2007-06-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

my pretty thing.
well, not that pretty..

2007-06-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

you caught me completely off guard.
how many time you hoped the transport takes a little longer.
everytime i had that chance given, i take another step back.

i want gangs of new york dvd.

2007-06-09T16:06:00.000+08:00

get high on cough syrup, dullhills and den take a long sleep.
i only post videos, when i'm real bored
stucked in the office.

Marion Raven - Heads Will Roll

2007-06-09T14:03:00.001+08:00

Marion Raven - Heads Will Roll

and you know just why i like it..

We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

2007-06-09T11:43:00.001+08:00

We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

okae..

Woah-oh-oh-oh-ooh

2007-06-09T10:29:00.000+08:00

Bed sial, i like.. hah.

Stumble till you crawl.

Sinking into sweet uncertainty.

i could go on and on today.

No, the sweetness will not be concerned with me.

2007-06-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

Beer and seafood combination.

things to show off this weekend: my bruises.

i fell on my hands and knees. how careless.
bangy falling jeans are bad.
i miss talking with you under your block.
just watching you twirl your hair round your finger.
in a not so bimbotic way.

A bruise or contusion or ecchymosis: is a kind of injury, usually caused by blunt impact, in which the capillaries are damaged, allowing blood to seep into the surrounding tissue.

2007-06-08T11:49:00.001+08:00

to summarise my last 7 days: hardly sober.

i feel like staying home, tonight.
binge eat, watch movie, sleep, and when my papa start talking, i know i'll need to get out the house. i have lesson till 9 thou. and i'm feeling too lazy now to pick up jason's blades. so we can skate some tonight. or i can fall some tonight.

i know i will be there, as usual. in any case.

2007-06-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

Oh what are you doing sunday baby.
Would you like to come and meet me maybe?
You can even bring your baby.
Ohhh ooh ooh. ooh ooh ooh ooh..

another lighter stolen:)

2007-06-07T19:55:00.000+08:00

the vibe..feeling...thingy..
ugly betty binge.

2007-06-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Now I'm lying on the table with everything you said
keep that in mind the way that it felt when the most
I could do was to just blame myself
I know you didn't mean it, I know you didn't mean it
Drop everything, start it all over
remember more then youd like to forget

2007-06-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

rubbing knuckles
kids playing matchsticks.

i finally found the right time, the right mood to
blog. with instant chicken bolognaise from 7eleven infront
of me. last few days has been smashed packed(mentally).
viceroy and HL milk has been keeping me happy.
i skipped work on tuesday, only to find to much time to
think about all the stuffs in the world other than work.
subjects that i have been runnning from and denying.
school, work, family and my awful spending pattern.
all enough for me to crack my knuckles. and dry my
tear glands to actually let you in. all's better now.
having to work and study at the same time. doesnt
make me any more mature than any of you. mr sim
opened up my bag, after closing it. he asked, social or
stress? (hahah) my reply, pretty much both.

he always knew that i smoke, that ever since secondary
school. his nose is just sensitive. that dude, always talks
sense. though i think everyone agrees that he's still tat
lil weebit old fashion(thinking). but he made me go home
and seriously think of my role as a sister, my fees, and
my future. the future has hold opportunities. that gave
my lazy bit a feel its okae to keep slacking. i'm thinking
i'm still young anyway. i still can waste my time making
new friends happy, keeping old ones away. and my studies
at hold. no. those anxiety, i told myself to i have step up
and take ontrol. i know i can get there, slowly. my test
results are out, i know how hard i tried, or hard i din try.
its the last week of lesson for the current modules. we'll
see where these goes from now.

my massive ladies, just the thoughts of you(s) gave me
strength. to keep this together. even though i keeping
out, with you just right beside me.

So, we're talking forever
and you almost feel better
but, betters no excuse for tonight
you see, it's never bad enough
to just leave or give up
but, its never good enough
to feel right
Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
it will all catch up eventually
well, it caught up and honestly
the weight of my decisions
were impossible to hold
but they were never yours
they were never yours.

well i know, you know.
i know you know.
secretly, you;re m star:)

jarvis + ditto = temptation

2007-06-06T13:58:00.001+08:00

jarvis cocker and beth ditto
"temptation"

what could be better?

2007-06-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

It's part not giving in
And part trusting your friends
You do it all again
And I'm not lying.

2007-06-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

distasteful break down.

i dont think im strong enough to be there for you,
right now.
forgive me.

2007-06-05T11:18:00.000+08:00

Glamorous
Indie rock'n'roll is what I want
It's in my soul, it's what I need
Indie rock'n'roll, it's time
Two of us
Flipping through a thrift store magazine
She plays the drums, I'm on tambourine
Bet your, your bottom dollar on me..

CPL's alarm tone.
the dramas.
the two who wanted me drunk got drunk themselves.
sleeping, sweating, and tossing in my afterlife shirt.
i cldnt stop thinking of you.
i cldnt bring myself to call you.
in that 2 hour plus diff.
on lands diff.
i crossed that line i shldnt.
keep holding, my hand.

were you high?

2007-06-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back